respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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