Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My liver just had a heart attack.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
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I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts