How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.