I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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