He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
