Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
