belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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