cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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