i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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