My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Are we still banned from the library?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
