I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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