you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
