he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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