Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
