I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
