mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
