WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
