who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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