dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
