I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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