i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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