How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just googled if crying burns calories
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
