do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he puts the penis in happiness.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
