And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize