Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
