her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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