I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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