hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
