D3 body, D1 cock
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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