i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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