you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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