hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize