I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
