just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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