just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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