ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
this hospital has no fireball
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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