Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
