he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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