The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
