She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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