You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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