okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
