11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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