So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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