U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You made out with two different species that night
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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