I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
