found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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