if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
do herpes really smell.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
