She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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