people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize