The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
