so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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