tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
