There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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