The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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