I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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