I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize