I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no